So, as you might have guessed from my last post, I have been thinking alot lately about tiaras. And I've wanted a tiara for nearly 20 years. And it probably seems ridiculous to you that I don't just go and buy myself a tiara already...
In the last 2 days, I've gone to Amazon.com a dozen times and looked at the tiara on my wish list. And every time I do I am flooded with thoughts about how I really need to get tires for the car and there will be repairs needed to be able to pass the State Vehicle Inspection this year and Mr.POSSLQ will likely not have the means to make that happen. And I know that The Girl needs things.... As I think all of those things, I close the Amazon.com window because a tiara is too frivolous, too self-indulgent even if it is less than $20. Because it's not like a book or something that I can justify by telling myself it's expanding my mind.
I know that The Bloggess says that Joy is always worth it. And I can't lie and tell you that the Joy I'd get from a tiara is unimportant, but there are just some things that are really ingrained in me and that you don't buy stuff like tiaras when you have bills to pay and debt and car repairs and your kid needs things. And yes, I know that I piss away money on other things ... But, here's the thing.... I don't want the tiara to have even a tinge of guilt associated with it. I don't ever want to look at it and think about all of the other things I SHOULD have done with that money. I don't want a bit of regret impinging on my Joy.
And that's why there won't be a tiara. Not now. Because a tiara is more to me than a passing fancy.