V-Day Wrap-Up

Today was Valentines Day...

There was no great romance, no boxes of fancy chocolates, no tiara.

There were no cards with hearts and gushy sentiment.  There was no fancy dinner. There will be no lingerie. There will be no sexy rumpus (Oh How I Love The Oatmeal!)...

I had cuddly kitties. I had a wonderful compliment on Facebook. I had a nice txt chat. There was a domestic dispute in my apartment complex that was very loud and public and involved gunshots (no injuries/fatalities).

But public domestic dispute aside (it wouldn't be Valentines Day without some woman screeching at her man about "that slut"... well, at least not in MY neighborhood), I am ok with how today went.  It's the first Valentine's Day in a long time that I felt neither sad nor angry.  It was just a day.  And honestly, that's ok.

I DID screw up my first giveaway (on my other blog)... and I am relatively certain that at least one person will conveniently lose my contact info if I ever want to participate in doing a giveaway again.  I know that the whole thing made me look like a bumbling idiot but it was new territory for me and I learned from it.  I learned how Rafflecopters work and how to find a decent prize when you don't have people chomping at the bit to be sponsors for you.

I think it shows how much of a crazy cat lady I am that I asked Miz Poo to be my Valentine.  (She said as long as I am ok with her sneezing in my face, we're good to go!  Robyn speaks fluent cat and is an excellent translator!)

So... although the day lacked romance, it was an ok day.  I think I'm making peace with a day that has always made me feel unlovable (V-Day and I have a LONG history).

And tomorrow... tomorrow is cheap chocolate day! BRING IT ON!

Cheap Chocolate Day Is Coming!

It was cold this weekend, so I mostly stayed inside and worked on cleaning/organizing. I managed to finish up the home office and the kitchen is close to done. The bathroom is also close to done. Yes, I am aware that close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades but it's a process and I'm working through the process.

The week ahead will be semi-chaotic.  Monday and Tuesday are going to be quiet. Wednesday I have a class and then my writer's group in the evening (switched from Tuesday for the next couple of weeks) and Thursday is a Kitty Volunteer night (when I go and volunteer for the cat rescue) then Friday and the weekend things will be quiet again (at least, as far as I know...)  Since we haven't discussed it yet, I am thinking that this month we will not be going to the Friday Late Night at the Art Museum... but there is always the possibility it will come up on Wednesday night.

So, I am happy that I got some things done this weekend, disappointed that I didn't get more done and wishing I had another day or two to get things done without a five day interim period... But, wait... I THINK that NEXT Monday is President's Day and that's a holiday so I will have three days next weekend so...YAY! (Honestly, it's always really the little things with me).

Oh... and Tuesday this week is Valentine's Day which is nothing I am really excited about EXCEPT that it precedes CHEAP CHOCOLATE DAY (because Valentine's candy is usually marked down the day after).  So I will be keeping my eye out for good deals on apres~VD chocolate!

Now... when is it Free Tiara Day??

Home Office Reboot

I am back to cleaning.  I started with my home office this time.  Mainly because it drives me nuts to be in there and feel distracted because there is chaos.   I know I shouldn't be so distracted by things in my environment but I am.  And so I need to keep things decluttered in the office or I end up getting nothing done (the lack of blog posts here lately? Because I've been distracted....)

Four weekends left until I have out-of-town company coming.  So, I basically have 4 weeks to totally get my sh*t together and make order of my chaos.  Easier said than done, let me tell you.

Tonight I cleaned my desk off. There is actual visible work surface now. It's pretty amazing.

I'll do some more catching up with blogging this weekend. I have things to talk about. I just need to get my space organized and then I'll get my thoughts organized.

Muffins and Bacon

It's Sunday morning and I'm full of delicious blueberry muffins and bacon. No, I didn't suddenly have an attack of domesticity, POSSLQ is home from being a road warrior and made breakfast.  And he's making pork roast for dinner tonight.  The kitchen will be confused as lately the only appliance that really gets any use is the refrigerator. (Yes, I just anthropomorphized my kitchen... it's my blog, I can do that if I want to).

I should work on making things less chaotic today. I am already in a panic about company coming in March. I suppose I should go and get the mail but that'd mean leaving my apartment and I am really just not that ambitious today.  I will consider it a miracle if I manage to get anything done.  But I suppose I should do SOMETHING so all this yummy food I am eating won't turn into another five pounds taking up residence in my posterior.

Also, you should go and check out this Giveaway... and take the opportunity to hop to some other great blogs that are also giving away groovy stuff (yes, I just used the word groovy... for I am old).  I promise, the things that are being given away are really great and well worth the time to check out plus you might find a new blog or two to read.

Guess I am off to start on some chores. Although I'd rather sit here sipping coffee and eating delicious muffins. Ahhh, it was nice while it lasted. Now back to reality!

Want vs. Need and Tiaras

So, as you might have guessed from my last post, I have been thinking alot lately about tiaras.  And I've wanted a tiara for nearly 20 years.  And it probably seems ridiculous to you that I don't just go and buy myself a tiara already...

In the last 2 days, I've gone to Amazon.com a dozen times and looked at the tiara on my wish list.  And every time I do I am flooded with thoughts about how I really need to get tires for the car and there will be repairs needed to be able to pass the State Vehicle Inspection this year and Mr.POSSLQ will likely not have the means to make that happen.  And I know that The Girl needs things.... As I think all of those things, I close the Amazon.com window because a tiara is too frivolous, too self-indulgent even if it is less than $20.  Because it's not like a book or something that I can justify by telling myself it's expanding my mind.

I know that The Bloggess says that Joy is always worth it. And I can't lie and tell you that the Joy I'd get from a tiara is unimportant, but there are just some things that are really ingrained in me  and that you don't buy stuff like tiaras when you have bills to pay and debt and car repairs and your kid needs things.  And yes, I know that I piss away money on other things ... But, here's the thing.... I don't want the tiara to have even a tinge of guilt associated with it.  I don't ever want to look at it and think about all of the other things I SHOULD have done with that money.   I don't want a bit of regret impinging on my Joy.

And that's why there won't be a tiara. Not now.  Because a tiara is more to me than a passing fancy.

A Tiara...

I'm going to be 45 in March.  It makes me feel a little sick to admit that. I am not someone who has accepted the aging process well.  I still freak out at the gray hair I often see in the mirror (to be fair, I got my first gray hair at 25... and I cried for pretty much a week after I found it).

For the last 15-20 years if you asked me what I wanted for my birthday or for Christmas or any other gifting occasion I would have told you "I want a tiara".  And then you would have laughed because what would a grown woman possibly want a tiara for?

Well, here's the thing... The Bloggess (who I have a HUGE girl-crush on) has this traveling red dress thing she's doing.  And one of the things she's said about it is that the red dress isn't always a red dress. It is something you've wanted but not gotten/done for yourself because it's just too ridiculous/frivilous/decadent.  And I've come to realize that MY "red dress" is a tiara.  Because you don't just go out and buy yourself a tiara.  I have nowhere to wear a tiara. I have no special occasion I want it for. I can't even articulate to you WHY I want a tiara, I just DO.

I actually added a tiara to my Amazon Wish List last year... and there it sits.  And I am STILL trying to rationalize buying a tiara. And I don't know if I can actually talk myself into being ok with spending the money on a tiara. And no, a cardboard tiara would NOT be "just as good".  Because if you're going to have a tiara, you may as well go for "the real thing".

I'll let you know if I ever go ahead and get my tiara. And maybe just putting out the intention to the Universe is enough.  It's fun to think about, anyways.

Project Induced Paralysis

I don't know if I am the only person to ever experience this or if other people have this issue, as well.  You start the weekend with a mile long list of things to do and you look at the list and ponder where to begin and before you know it, it's 10PM Sunday night and you're blogging about the fact that another weekend has passed and you got nothing (or very little) done and now you will be behind all week again and need to spend next weekend catching up.   Well, that pretty much describes at least 3 decades of my life. I am NEVER caught up but I suffer from Project-Induced Paralysis on an alarmingly frequent basis.  I've tried all sorts of things to get myself on track but it always seems to come back to sitting here on Sunday night and realizing that another weekend has gone by and I am no closer to getting things done now than I was on Friday night.

I suppose that part of my problem is that I have this delusion that somehow, miraculously, I will receive an invitation to do something really fun on the weekend and I don't want to get all involved in a project and then miss the invitation because I was vacuuming and didn't hear my phone or I was up to my glutes in the closet project and missed an email inviting me to the most fun event ever that came up at the very last second...  And I KNOW that the chance of that happening is pretty much nothing, but it is the sort of thing that seems to enable my ongoing Project-Induced Paralysis.

I assure you, I am thoroughly disgusted with myself and am ruminating about how this is going to impact the coming week and I know that The POSSLQ is eventually going to be back in town and want a bed to sleep in but I made no progress in helping that happen this weekend. 

To be fair, I did take a ton of trash out and now the hall closet is as good as it gets once again (it's not perfect, but it's a hall closet and I just don't have very high expectations for it).  And I vacuumed the bedroom. Brought the kitty litter up from the car and cleaned the kitty box. And generally tidied a bit so if they come around to do their Fourth Amendment violating "inspection", they may not be completely appalled.  Don't think that my place is fit to be condemned or anything, it just isn't pristine and ready for a Better Homes & Gardens photoshoot.  And really, how many homes ARE like that on a daily basis (if you have one of them, I cannot fathom why you are reading my blog. Seriously.)

I also remotely logged into my work computer today and finished up something so that tomorrow and Tuesday will be less of a crisis.  So, that completely ate into the time that I was spending not getting anything done. They may hesitate to renew my "slacker" card over that but I am sure I can convince them it was a one-time incident for which I am receiving counseling and I'll be fine.

I had some writing I wanted to get done this weekend and maybe I'll still get it done following this post.  There's still time before I go to bed (too late again, I'm sure).  And tomorrow I will look at my list and be woeful at how many things did NOT get checked off the list.  Like every other Monday that I can recall.   I suppose when you wake up and have nothing on your "to-do" list, you're probably either a)ready to die or b) already dead.  Neither of which is optimal. (I would imagine. I've never been dead so I suppose I have no basis for comparison)...

So, anyone else have this problem or is it just me?